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Codependency and interdependency are two terms that I feel are not discussed enough when we talk about relationships. Many people crave a healthy, mutually beneficial & fulfilling relationship but lack the knowledge of the necessary set of skills that are required to have one. Unknowingly, a lot of us are codependent within our relationships, which often lead to that particular relationships demise. While codependency is seen as a damaging type of behavior, interdependency is the complete opposite. If you are not aware, codependency is an unequal partnership that often involves one person putting another's needs and wants above their own. Codependents lean strongly on their partner for a sense of self worth & often have difficulty forming stable and healthy relationships. They are afraid to upset or disappoint others, which regularly leads them to over-extending themselves, to the point of exhaustion.

Codependents have trouble with intimacy, open communication and trust. This is often due to the lack of being around proper role models for healthy relationships during childhood. While others, may have become codependent as adults due to a betrayal in their relationship(s), thus creating that codependent trauma bond.

Interdependency on the other hand, is an equal give or take partnership where both parties recognize and value the importance of the bond they share; while still being able to maintain their own sense of self within the relationship. Interdependent partners never feel in competition or intimidated by one another. Instead of feeling addicted to your partner like one does in a codependent relationship. Interdependence allows you to appreciate each others existence. Everyone involved in the relationship dynamic gets to actively choose HOW they are involved. Interdependence is all about moving away from “needing” one another, to genuinely choosing one another every day.

Interdependence values the emotional intimacy you share with others while also maintaining a firm sense of self. This allows more space to be vulnerable and honest about your desires, boundaries, and needs as they shift over time. In codependent relationships, there is a reliance on one partner “needing” the other which creates a sense of stagnancy. Interdependent relationships, on the other hand, allow room for growth and change without feeling threatened.

sending love & light 💘 - Maya Benberry

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